Hamster Gangster by Angela Robb

Author:Angela Robb
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Troubador Publishing Ltd
Published: 2019-03-19T16:00:00+00:00

21

Foxed

Now it’s straight back to the sewer, everyone choose your weapons, and hey-ho and away we go to have a little chat with a certain bunch of foxes. My trusty teaspoon served me well in the cake factory, so I’m sticking with that. In any case, it’s just for show, since the foxes aren’t fighters.

We line up on top of the wall at the edge of the foxes’ yard. The first pink rays of dawn are in the sky, but there is no sign yet of the cunning canines. Once again Vinny is in charge.

‘Come on out, you vermin!’ he cries. ‘We ’ave a message for ya from the Big Cheese.’

There is a sound like someone yawning loudly. It is coming from the nearest shed. And now the same sound is coming from the other one.

Maurice steps out of the shed nearest to us. He stretches his long front legs, then he yawns again. He looks at us with a mild curiosity. At the same time, the rest of the foxes emerge from the other shed and continue with the stretching and yawning. All of us rodents are waiting on the wall, waving our kitchen utensils and shiny sharps as menacingly as possible.

‘A very good morning to you too,’ says Maurice. ‘Please, tell us this message. If it’s worth disturbing our sleep so early in the morning, then it must be extraordinary news indeed, so we’re all dying to hear it, I’m sure.’

‘Well.’ Vinny clears his throat. ‘We are ’ere to say that we know exactly what you riff-raff has been plottin’ with them alley cats.’

Maurice lowers his brows. He looks very mean.

‘And also, if you don’t stop your little scheme right now, we’re gonna dice you up and make six kinds of sizzlers out of ya.’

Maurice smiles. It’s even scarier than the mean look.

‘We’d be fascinated to see you try that,’ he says, ‘but unfortunately we cannot allow it. You see, none of us has any dealings whatsoever with the alley cats, and so your accusation – whatever it actually is – is plainly false. Now we foxes may be fish thieves and fakers, but we never betray, or lie to, those with whom we have made a deal. That, my friend, is because we are honourable. And right now, if you won’t stop threatening us, that honour of ours will see the lot of you torn to shreds without a thought for how you might be sizzled, sautéed or otherwise cooked.’

‘Ha!’ scoffs Vinny. ‘And how are you gonna do that, then? Call the mob? Oh no, that’s right – we’re the mob!’

There are a few laughs from the rats, followed by an uneasy hush as Maurice’s glare grows steelier.

‘It’s true that we do not use violence readily,’ he says, ‘because we are civilised, and prefer to let lowly creatures fight off seagulls. But we are foxes. We don’t have to act deadly to be deadly. If you need us to prove this, we’re happy to do so.’

Why is he looking at me? That’ll be because everyone is looking at me.

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